Ten things that Tickle Clara’s Fancy!

Hiya lads,
Amelie, Freya and myself are best mates as you know and have so much in common but we are also very different!
What’s the best way to find out more about someone? Getting a glimpse of their favourite things, of course!

Here’s a few of mine…
Golden retrievers.
I am literally never happier than when I am with a golden retriever. I grew up with them and they remind me of home, love and happy times. My favourite are the ones that are almost white, they are the Marilyn Monroe of dogs! When I see one in the street I make a beeline for them and don’t give a shit who gets in my way. They are the most friendly loving dogs I have ever known. I feel like I could trust a GR with my life. I also feel like I bond with them on a really deep level, like they know how I’m feeling, which people think is strange, but I think it’s ace. They’re sassy, clever and kind! My idea of heaven is literally me, Mr J and a pack of Golden Retrievers, I think about this way too much.

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Having my eyebrows threaded.
I actually love getting my eyebrows threaded. I love the pain! I think there’s such a thing as ‘good pain’ and a ‘bad pain’. While 99% of pain is bad pain (don’t even get me started on my horrific period pain)… threading is good because I find it relaxing and no more painful than a tickle. I love the experience of being in a lovely comfy chair leaning back and having ten minutes on my lunch break to relax. My eyebrows always look red raw afterwards and stay like that all day. Damn you sensitive skin!

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Prosecco
Most girls I know love Prosecco, but I actually LIVE for the stuff! On a feral all-dayer I used to drink wine and I’d be in bed or covered in vomit by 8pm, but with Prosecco I feel like I can carry on into the early hours!

I also love the fact that you drink it out of a champagne flute, it makes you look so posh! (Let’s face it, it’s just a newer-age slightly less common looking white lightning…but still!)

I love the fact that you can get a bottle of Prosecco from Aldi for a fiver and it tastes fabulous. Most wines that you can get for that price taste like malt vinegar.

I feel like I could drink Prosecco with my coco pops first thing in the morning (not instead of the milk, I’m not that bad) but I don’t advertise this because it makes me feel and sound like an alcoholic. Although when Amelie got married in Sorrento our hotel did routinely serve it with breakfast. Fabulous.

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Charity shops
I absolutely fucking buzz off charity shops. All of us ferals do, we like to compare our charity shop hauls.
The best ones are never in the cities, they are overpriced and full of horrible shit.

You need to go to a random small town to get the best finds, places that nobody’s ever heard of, so no one gets there first to find the hidden gems. Charity shops that stink are the best too, you can get a decent book or swanky bracelet for about 50p. I also love the charity shops that have furniture, you can always upcycle! Annie Sloan is your friend.
At the minute ( because I’m getting married in a year or so- don’t know if I’ve mentioned that?) I’m always in there looking for old books and frames that I can use as centrepieces.

I also sometimes find decent clothes in charity shops for a fraction the price, if anyone asks where my outfit is from I will proudly advertise my charity shop find.

I like the idea that if something is second hand it’s more unique, it’s got a story, and is less common. Also it’s always good to give to a good cause. Make sure you have a nice chat to the volunteers in the shop because they’re usually not getting paid to work there, how nice is that?

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Not paying for bags in the supermarket.
I shit you not I never pay for bags in the supermarket. I know they’re only like 5p but I’ve been dodging paying this ever since the ban came in and I tell you, it’s thrilling! I just can’t be arsed paying when I’ve never paid before, and it’s gone too far now. I’ve committed to this for life.

I make sure I go to the self service, and when it asks how many bags I have I press zero! I’m so bad-ass aren’t I? Once I had some issues with payment and I needed the assistant to come and see my screen and he didn’t even check to see if I had paid for bags! My arse was falling out, but there was actually no need.
I’ve got a cover story ready if I ever get caught that I have mentally revised in my head like one hundred times. I’ll just be like, “oh my god I’m so sorry, I keep forgetting you have to pay for bags now” haha!

Do you always pay for bags? Are you a fellow supermarket thrill seeker?

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Collecting magnets
Every place I go to I get a magnet, whether I’m in Italy or Blackpool. Everywhere you go you can find a cheap, tacky magnet and I love them! On holiday I make sure I don’t leave without a shitty magnet or five. I can spend ages in souvenir shops looking at tack. Amelie and Freya hate me. I love it. The cheaper looking, the better. Friends and family also help with my collection, so I have magnets now from places I’ve never even been, ranging from Melbourne to Israel. It’s fabulous. Although I have no room on the fridge….like seriously.

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Weddings
I fucking love weddings! Good job too, as I’ve been maid of honour three times!

I love that every wedding I go to is different, every bride is different, food, tastes, style, guests etc.

I love sharing such a special day with a couple, especially when I’m a bridesmaid because I feel like I’m a VIP!

I love mingling, getting pissed for free with people I don’t know and chatting absolute shit to strangers. I love exploring venues and going to new places, I love the anticipation of the speeches and seeing the father walk the bride down the aisle. I always get totes emosh and cry like Rylan.
But the best bit is when you have been drinking all day and you’re smashed and it’s suddenly the night do! I love owning the dance floor; listening to a live band. I usually try and get on stage with them but they don’t usually let me.

I love the way everyone’s so formal and la-de- dah in the day, and then at night they let it all go and slut drop your mates Nanna.

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Manchester Christmas markets
It’s not even happening any time soon but one of my favourite things ever is the Manchester Christmas markets. I cannot think of a better way to spend a winter evening than getting pissed on amaretto and mulled wine, chatting shit with your mates and looking at the stalls.

The food is amazing, I love the massive hot dogs and the Nutella crepes. Most of the other stuff is overpriced shite, but I still enjoy having a look and maybe a purchase.

Everyone looks festive and feels happy, such a fab atmosphere.

I love that it’s so big and there are stalls dotted around different parts of the city centre. Last year there were 350 stalls! The most amazing one was at Spinningfields. It’s something called ‘caroloke’. It’s basically karaoke but singing Christmas carols and songs. Whoever thought of that idea is a fucking genius! I’ll definitely be looking out for that stall again this year.

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Greggs

When I’m walking down the street and I see a greggs I get so excited. I love greggs. The food is cheap, cheerful, tasty and afterwards I feel a little bit dirty. But I like it.

The sausage rolls are so good I don’t even care if I burn the roof of my mouth. It’s worth it. I eat the pasties so quickly I end up with flakes all over me. When my work colleagues are going to EAT or Pret on a Friday morning for their overpriced dry chewy bacon baps, I head straight to greggs for my melt in your mouth sausage bap knowing it will be dancing in ketchup and joy, drink included for a bargain £2.

I also love the themed cakes and doughnuts. Sometimes I’ll even smash an iced finger in. I love you greggs, thanks for feeding me over the years.

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The Beach

I don’t know if it’s because I grew up by the sea, but I fucking love the beach! Living in Manchester now I really miss it, and as soon as I go and visit family the first thing I’m doing is asking them when are going for a beach walk.

Now I’m not talking about a glorious Thailand type beach affair, I’m talking about your standard North Wales, pebbly common beach. I love the smells, the sights, I love how you can talk to everyone at the beach because everyone’s happy and they’re on their caravan holiday.

I feel like it relaxes me. I’m not really into nature and I’d class myself as a city girl now. But
when I am at the beach I revert back to my childhood and love looking at the different shells, stones, random rancid jellyfish or starfish that have been washed up on the shore.

Now I googled the beach that I always go to and it didn’t even make North Wales’ top ten beaches, which shows that it is a bit shit really. But that makes me like it even more.

Also because I am usually hungover, the sea air does me the world of good. And a bag of chips after doesn’t hurt the hangover either, obviously.

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So that’s me! Just a few things that make my heart sing!
Love Clara
X.

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