You’re engaged! Congratulations!
And now you’re thinking holy shit, what next? Apart from reaching for the prosecco of course….
Sounds so simple.
But, its very easy to get carried away.
I’m so close to my family and friends that I excitedly started discussing a lot of my wedding ideas with them first…. oops! I realised that that’s not what it was all about. So now, Mr J and I have been making a conscious effort to have a regular meal times together and do some wedding planning just after. We don’t always agree, but its important to take the time and enjoy making your plans together.
Mr J and I sat down and talked about what we liked and didn’t like at the weddings we had attended in the past (both being the wrong side of 30 we have been to a shit load of weddings!)
He told me that he doesn’t like the jokey wedding photos people have with funny slogans/signs. I confessed that balloons at weddings just weren’t my bag. He doesn’t really like animals (apart from dogs), so the thought of some sort of owl flying around with our rings would make him shit his pants.
It’s good to get an idea of what you both like and that’s when you can start to compromise.
We have completely different tastes in music so it became clear that we were never going to agree on a band. I love the old school jazz and Rat pack sounds and Mr J loves the Oasis and Stone Roses vibe. So we sacked the band idea off, because firstly we couldn’t agree and secondly they cost about £2k. We are just going to have a DJ instead and play whatever we both like.
He’s looked at suits (with me watching carefully over his shoulder) and had shown me what he likes (electric blue slim fit) and I’ve revealed the 1950s floral bridesmaids dresses and flowers that I like.
So all together theme wise we are on the same page. It’s sort of rustic retro casual. It makes sense to us, which is the main thing. We are making it up as we go along and it’s working well so far.
It really is!
I didn’t like this part because I hate maths and it hit me that we wouldn’t have a decent holiday in a year and a half. But needs must. There’s always Blackpool and Llandudno.
We found an amazing spreadsheet from the Clued up Bride website. We amended it to suit us and added bits in and took bits off, then my 2010 shitty laptop broke and we lost everything so we had to do it again. Bastard.
But the point is, you can update the spreadsheet every day and it shows you what you have left to pay on things, it does the maths for you, which is great! I need this kind of help.
Also, you have to be realistic with the budget. Weddings can cost a fucking fortune, so work out where you can cut costs. You can end up becoming very frugal and creative, and call in help from friends and family where you can. If one of your bridesmaids wants to make your invitations as a present, let them!
The hardest thing about saving is saying no, to things like meals and nights out. You just can’t say yes to everyone. I go to all my friends birthdays, but I’m finding myself saying no to going out every weekend. Which is probably sensible anyway as I’m constantly dying of a hangover.
I just keep thinking…It will be worth it in the long run! I’m getting into watching series’ on Netflix with Mr J and drinking Aldi prosecco instead of a slap up meal date-night.
This is fun but also can be stressful. You start to doubt yourself, as you will hear so many opinions. You need to go with your gut instinct.
There were a couple of old Manor Houses we went to and as soon as we walked in Mr J said ‘it stinks in here’ it set the venue up to a bad start and to be fair no one wants to get married in a cesspit. So we fucked them off.
Some venues were so dark and gloomy. Our summer rustic theme just wouldn’t have worked.
We also visited a castle, but they said on Saturdays they usually have about three weddings on at the same time and then only have the one big bar to share. So technically you could be at the bar with two other brides! Hated that idea. I want to be the belle of the ball!
If you’re not sure don’t book something for the sake of it. You may have to venture further out from where you originally planned.
I was originally dead set on getting married in my local church and had to the reception elsewhere but eventually we found a beautiful barn type venue which was quite far from the church. It ticked 9 out of our 10 boxes, and we knew it was the one straight away. We just couldn’t imagine getting married anywhere else.
Aaaaaaaaah this bit is so fucking exciting, I can’t tell you enough! I literally had heart palpitations for about 3 days when we set ours. You’re getting married! Plaster it all over Facebook and just tell everyone with a pulse. You finally have a date to work towards and it’s all becoming very real!
You need to pick your bridesmaids, flower girls etc and your other half needs to pick their groomsmen.
I couldn’t be arsed with all these boxes that have ‘will you be my bridesmaid’ on with all cheap, shitty tack inside. So I just asked mine when I saw them! I knew before I was engaged who I would pick. They’ve been my mates for years!
I let Mr J pick all his groomsmen because, well I wouldn’t have him picking my bridesmaids. (Even though he would know who!) Freya and Amelie are joint maid and Matron of honour …OBVS. I’ve already set them both to work, Freya as chief Pinterest wedding coordinator and Amelie has to do a speech! They’ve both known their bridesmaid jobs for years, in reality.
(Even google can’t decide if it’s fair or fayre?!)
This is such a good way to get ideas. The big ones have magicians, singers, flowers, photographers (shit loads of them!) Jewellers, make up artists, wedding dresses, cakes, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers… You get the gist.
They really make you feel special and you get more of an idea of what you like and you don’t like. Mr J doesn’t enjoy them as much as me but that’s a given. Take your partner, your mum or a bridesmaid. You’ll have a fab time, embrace the weird, wacky and expensive world of wedding planning.. You only get married once! (Hopefully!)
We have literally just been to a wedding fayre today… Causing absolute chaos!
Heres a photo of Freya I’m a wedding dress… A sight we thought we’d never see. #emotional
Love Clara x
Ps- Did you get a chance to pop over and see the last #bloggybrides post from Lianne. Go on you know you want to…
Read about her perfect venue here.
Photos utterly ferals own and pixabay. Copyright free.
Typorama and animal face app used.