Bloggy Bride: The worst thing about wedding planning is…

Ok lads, I’m not usually a moaner (I leave that to Freya!) but if you think wedding planning is going to be all hunky dory, then you’re going to be disappointed. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, so be prepared for this, as we are all guaranteed to encounter some kind of matrimonial shit storm.


The Cost




Oh my christ. I literally can’t believe the expense of a wedding these days, I’m trying to do it on the cheap, but it’s my wedding, the one that I have dreamed about for years so I don’t want it to be shit! At the same time I don’t want to be paying it off for years to come, the struggle is so real! Even though we are saving every month and living off cheese on toast (things could be worse) I’m so worried that we won’t be able to have the things that we really want. I wish it was so much simpler. People hear ‘wedding’ and charge a small fortune. Arseholes.



Making Decisions




Going with your gut, but then lying awake at night and wondering… was that the right decision? Also trying to make decisions with your fella, and not agreeing. Mr J still hasn’t gotten over the fact that I’m not walking down the aisle to a Stone Roses song, I keep secretly thinking he will secretly tell the Welsh male voice choir to piss off at the last minute. You will have to compromise on things and will still definitely question your decisions later on.


Families rowing




Mr J’s parents don’t speak and when I say they don’t speak, I mean they haven’t in twenty years and positively hate each other. They have said they won’t even be in a picture together. Totes awks.

Also, I have a very strong character in my own family called Auntie Lynn, she’s managed to somehow piss off all my other aunties and uncles (including my own dad) over the years so everyone is refusing to sit with her. On the other hand Auntie Lynn and I text a lot, I think she’s ace. I might just have to sit her with my work mates or something and see what happens!

The way I see it, guests will be sat where they are sat for a maximum of two hours. They’re not going to die if they sit next to someone they don’t know, and they’re getting free food and wine so they should shut the fuck up and enjoy themselves.



Too much to think about…



There’s literally so many tiny details I have to consider for one day, it’s making me go dizzy.

-Where will the choir will stand?

-What time the first dance will start?

-Where will people sit?

-How much wine is needed on each table for the meal?

-Who’s going to drop the dog -‘Mrs Candy’ at home after the pictures?

-How are people going to get taxi’s home? When there is no phone signal..


Honestly lads, my head is seriously up my arse! You start caring about really small things that no one gives a shit about, like the font on a sign or finding the right shade of gold. I’m hoping all this sort of shit will just all fall into place.



Losing weight




I’ve always been curvy and it’s fine, but lately I’ve put on about a stone. I can feel and see it. This stone is not welcome!

Mr J has also put on some pounds (we had a fabulous Christmas and ate our weight in Ferrero rocher!)

When you’re staying in all the time to save money it’s so easy just to eat, eat, eat.. but now I’m worrying I won’t look my best when I go to try on wedding dresses. It’s time to put down the chocolates and get to the gym. FML.


The Guest List




This is so hard. You usually sort this about a year before. But, how are you supposed to know if you’ll still be close mates with some people? Also, if people have invited you to their whole day but you’re not a massive fan, do you have to invite them to the day part of yours? #invitepolitics

Also partners, sometimes you just have to invite them out of courtesy even though you have never even met them before, the numbers just keep going go up and up..

What about when people at work ask if they have a day or night invite? Totes awks, as I just don’t know yet.

Loads of my mates have kids. But if they all brought their children along, I would have about thirty kids running around! So we’ve got a kid ban, except for our own nephews and nieces.

We’re still working on the guest list, it’s a work in progress and will be for some time.



People crawling out of the woodwork



Oh hello cousin that I’ve not spoken to in about twenty years, how are you? How do you even have my number and why are you tagging me on Facebook in wedding things? Hmmmm. I’m on to you!

I’m polite to them but they’re not bloody coming.


People giving you their opinions





-Why isn’t Mr J going to wearing a wedding ring? That’s odd. Well it’s not to us, he hates jewellery and doesn’t want to wear one! Doesn’t mean we’re not married does it? My dad and my brother have never worn one. Who gives a shit?


-Why aren’t you having a sweet cart? Because I don’t like sweets! I love cake though there will be plenty of cake.


-Don’t you want a band? No I can’t be arsed! A Dj is fine.


-Oh I thought you’d have your sister as your maid of honour? Well no I’ve got Amelie and Freya as joint MOH and I’m very happy with that, so do one!


It’s funny how so many people are quick to question your decisions. It’s also very annoying.


Fuck off and leave me alone!



Now, I’ve had a bit of a moan I feel better. I love wedding planning really I promise! I’m enjoying it more than I’m letting on! I know that I only feel the stresses so deeply because the day means so much to me. I must keep telling myself that I’m marrying my dream man (who I thought for years did not exist) in front of my closest friends and family, and that’s the most important thing.


Check out last weeks’ instalment of #bloggybrides- Lianne talks ‘Personalisation’ here.


Love Clara




Clara from Utterly Feral, Catriona from Lady Law Student, Rebecca from Rock&Roses Mama and Lianne from Mrs Mummy Harris.


Typorama used. All pictures copyright free.


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