A few things that get Claras goat

I’m really not a moany person, but there are things that really piss me off! I’m only human after all.

 

Here are a few:

 

Brew politicsimage

There are people in my team at work that make a sneaky brew for themselves and don’t offer anyone else one.
Selfish bastards! When I arrive at work every morning the first thing I do is make everyone present a brew. I cannot function if I don’t and I’m also a nice person. Now at 8.30am in the morning it’s prime brew time, every fucker with a pulse wants one. I don’t mind that’s fine, but I do end up making five coffees, three teas and a green tea (those are piss easy) I then carry them through the office and distribute them carefully to each waiting team member.
I patiently wait all day for the favour to be returned, and would you believe some of the cheeky bastards make themselves one and no one else?! I see them trying to hide!
I’ve called them up a few times on it but it still happens.

 

 

Making the bedimage

I don’t know why but I’ve just never been able to master this. I can do the pillow bit that’s easy, it’s the main sheet I struggle with and getting the new duvet on properly. The corners confuse me. If left to me, the duvet will be in the duvet sheet the wrong way.

I remember at university I always had to call my flatmates in to assist me because I just can’t do it!! These days Mr J and I do it together because I’m truly incompetent in this field.

 

Slow walkersimage

Why do some people walk so fucking slow? It’s so annoying!
I work in Manchester City centre so it’s always busy, people come for the day and don’t know where they are. I’m in a rush and will be walking behind them unable to overtake. Get out of my fucking way! I’m late!

 

Hot pinkimage

I don’t mind pastel pink but I really don’t like bright pink. If a headache was a colour – it would be hot pink. I think this stems from it being my older sisters favourite colour. We argued a lot when we were growing up, so I wanted to be the complete opposite to her, therefore my hatred of hot pink grew.
It reminds me of a stupid persons colour.

Health Nazisimage

If you want to eat healthy that’s fine but don’t push your ideas on me just because I want chips and cheese for lunch. Don’t stare at me because I’m smoking a cigarette or I’m smashing in a Greggs sausage roll.
No, I don’t know how many calories are in my pasty, and I don’t fucking care.
No, I will never ever drink diet coke, always full fat. Diet tastes like shite. I like what I like and I’m enjoying myself.
Do what you want but don’t bother me with it.
Heath nazis = fun police!

 

Having my hair doneimage

I am quite dark naturally and my head is swimming with greys. So I have highlights every six weeks so stop me resembling a ghost and cover up those pesky greys. I hate it though, I find it really tedious sitting there for hours making small talk. Yawn!
I have to have the highlights, wait for an hour, then wash them out, then have a toner on, wait another hour, wash that off and then she has to dry and cut it zzzzzzz!
I’ll also go as long as I can without washing my hair. I cannot be arsed to dry it, style it, I don’t like sitting around with wet hair. I have a massive forehead that I can cover with dry hair, when it’s wet I look like Ant McPartlin. Dry shampoo is my saviour.

 

 

People that moan about being busy when they’re not actually that busyimage

We are all busy, we all have shit to do, you are no busier than the next person.

 

 

Attention seekers on Facebookimage

 

This actually makes me fume you know. People that put ‘why me’ or ‘fucks sake’ on their status and then someone will comment and they put
“Inboxed you hun.”
Just don’t say anything, no one cares ‘hun’. Just keep it to yourself.
I also hate people that check themselves in and take pictures of themselves in hospital. Everyone has problems, you don’t need to broadcast it! I don’t give a shit if you’ve cut your finger.

 

Glitter wine glassesimage

 

You know the ones I mean, the ones people make themselves. They throw glitter all over a bottle of wine or a wine glass and sell them on Facebook and they think they’re Leonardo da Vinci. I can’t even cope with the tackiness. They look awful. Who actually buys these?
If someone got me one of these I’d be so offended that they would think I’d enjoy it. My brain can’t even process them.

 

How expensive decent houses are in the U.Kimage

Me and Mr J would love to live in a house that’s ours and to have a pretty garden with a dog and a couple of bathrooms not far from the city centre but I have had to come to terms with the fact this is never going to happen. We are saving for a wedding at the moment so have had to put the house on the back burner for a few years. I wish it was fifty years ago when my mum and dad bought a five bedroom house with a field for £10K.

 

People who cross the road at traffic lights and are stood right by the button but don’t press it!

image
So do you want me to press it mate and wipe your arse for you too? We are in the middle of fucking Manchester -you need to press the button! Do you think the green man is coming on his own?

 

People that spit on the floorimage

It’s fucking disgusting! So many do it, and let’s face it, it’s always men. I can’t cope. The sight of it on a pavement makes me want to vomit hard.
I remember going on holiday to Egypt when I was young (everyone spits there, it must be part of the culture) and I was just positively horrified.

 

 

 

What about you? Do you have brew politics in your office or have a selection of attention seekers on your Facebook?
Share your dislikes below! It’s OK to hate sometimes lads.

If you really do love a bit of rant… Here are a few things that get on Amelie’s tits too. 

Love

Clara

x

Pictures copyright free-pixabay. Typorama used for quotes.

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