Parenting changes you…

Inevitably bringing children into the world changes a lot..if not EVERYTHING about your life. So I started thinking about how I’ve changed.

Here’s just a few things that sprung to mind.

 

Turd talk

It’s going to happen! You will talk about colour, frequency, consistency and smell. You will talk about lack of poo, the reasons behind the lack of poo and speculate when there will be a poo. You will discuss poonami’s with every parent you meet. You just need to face facts you will talk turds multiple times a day and not give a shit. Literally.

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Also talking to a baby about poo… who knew?

Have you done a poo?”

Similarly…

Are you having a poo?”

Also…

Go on push it out!”

 

Looking a show

Walking around with food/poo/sick/snot on you without a care in the world. You’ve got bigger fish to fry right? Even if I spill my own dinner down me now I think- it’s ok, just blame the baby. Cunning.

Also, I used to buy clothes for myself…update the wardrobe every now and then. Well that’s a thing of the past. #capsulewardrobebydefault #tightonme

I don’t have time to pamper myself anymore and sod it, I’m ok with that.

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Planning your day around someone else’s nap time

I’m not sure about anyone else but when you have a crawler/cruiser/walker you cannot get a bloody thing done when they’re awake. I find myself tidying as I can in the morning with my little shadow. The minute that tiny, beautiful head hits the pillow I’m off. Straight off the starting blocks. On your marks get set go!

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Laundry, Hoover…(thank god for the *Dyson V6 cordless Christmas present from the mother in law- changed my life) mop (thank Jesus for the * Vileda 1-2 mop-changed my world) …wipe..shower…make up…change…hair…oh yeah eat. If I’m lucky I might be able to sip a lukewarm brew during morning nap without a tiny feral pointing at the cup. NO YOU CANNOT DRINK TEA LITTLE ONE!

 

Guilt

You will feel guilty all the time. About anything… that you didn’t breastfeed, that you didn’t breastfeed for long enough, that you breastfed for too long, or that you broke their heart changing a nappy, or not changing their nappy soon enough, about going back to work, not going back to work, not taking them to a baby group, not taking them to a party, blame yourself when they’re ill for taking them to said play group/party.

Fuck my life the list is endless.

The parent guilt is real.

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Getting excited about toys 

If you read this blog, you know I love a bargain. I LOVE preloved things. The joy I get when I find an amazing used toy bundle for £10, well its really something. Knocks the joy I used to get from spending my last tenner on a pack of fags, chips and cheese and bottle of cider in my uni days into a cocked hat.

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Selflessness

I think I’ve always been quite generous with money and time, for those I love.

But parenthood is something different. It’s having your whole world revolve around the happiness and comfort of mini you’s. Its tiredness. Its worry. Its love like no other. It’s sacrifice. It’s financial ruin. Do you know what though? It’s fucking ACE.

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How has parenthood changed you?

Love and hugs,

Amelie

X

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