Glossary of Feral Terms

image.jpeg

A

Arse Falling out: When you are mortified or fearful. Describes the actual physical feeling of your arsehole hitting the deck with fear.E.g. “Mate, my actual arse has fallen out about this!”

B

Busy bitch: Another term for nosy cow. A busy bitch posts her life story on social media sites. Posts can vary in ‘busy severity’ from what they have eaten to their toilet habits.In everyday life can be found wearing knee length denim skirts and/or bodywarmers, spreading vicious rumours to anyone with ears. E.g. “She’s a right busy bitch her!” 

C

Cheshire Cat: When your friend becomes physically and mentally unstable following feral drinking activities. She may begin riddling and/or forming incoherent sentences.Normally results in pathological lies and profound untruths. E.g. “Leave her alone, the Cheshire cat is out.”

D

Dragon: Looks decent from afar. Closeup resembles a haggard old witch. Dragons frequently over inject botox, until they cease to have any facial expressions. Partial to a diamonte and would use hair mascara if it was still sociably acceptable. E.g. “Have you seen that fucking dragon over there?”

F

Feral: Term referring to an animal or young woman in a wild state, especially after escape from captivity or domestication. E.g. -“Did you see her down that prosecco? She’s feral her.”

Flaps of Steel: When you have friend who epilates her vagina, you know she is hardcore. You thereafter name her ‘Flaps of steel’ forever more. E.g. “What?! You must have flaps of steel!”

Foundation wine: When you know in your heart you can’t stomach a glass of wine right now, but you have a full day of feral behaviour ahead. Works like a charm and has you in full feral form within five sips. E.g. – “Mate we need a foundation!

G

Gegging in:  When a busy bitch gets up in your grill uninvited. Unwanted guest. Non essential member of the group.  E.g.- “What the fuck is she doing here?” …” I dunno pal she just gegged in!” 

The Gift: When you realise you remember everything from the drunken night before. A skill only acquired by an elite few. E.g. “Holy shit I have the gift!” on remembering you were dancing on a pool table with a flamboyant gay man the night before.

H

The Horrors: A state of panic brought on by the alcohol fuelled activities potentially partaken in during the previous day/night. Can be classified into grades, usually between 1-10. E.g.-“Lad I cant remember anything, what did I do? I have the level ten horrors!”

Howling: A state of extreme, loud and uncontrollable laughter, unrivalled by the standard laugh or chuckle, may be hazardous for those with a weak pelvic floor. Common occurrence in feral folk.

J

Jive: A descriptive term for the action of talking in riddles. Or just plain chatting shit. Can also describe the nonsense verbalised by folk trying to act ‘Gangsta’. E.g.” Have you heard him over there talking jive? Dickhead.”

L

Lad: A term of endearment. E.g. “Love you lad”

Loose and Limber: A term used to describe the initial rush of ‘I don’t give a fuck’ following your first drink. Slackening of the mouth and brain. Verbal diarrhoea ensues. Pre-feral stage. Usually follows a foundation wine.

Losing your shit: An expression of rage following an annoying/nasty experience. E.g. “That waiter just took my wine, I had a sip left in that. I’m going to lose my shit with him!”

M

Mate: A term of endearment. E.g. “Love you mate!”

O

 

‘Ome Bargain- When you have a pal with a full wool accent. (St Helens) you will forever call her ‘ome bargain. You only take the piss out of the ones you love. E.g. “I’m going to see ‘ome bargain!”

One Star Conversation: When you are in a very pleasant establishment and talk on a level not befitting of such an environment. Has more impact the higher the establishment rating. E.g. “Fuck, Wank, cunty twat bollocks” while sat in a 5* hotel bar is probably not socially acceptable to most.

 

S

Senile: When your thirty-something mate cannot remember anything from the night before. Not used as a derogatory term, merely denotes complete memory loss. E.g. “Lad, how did I get to bed? I think I’ve gone senile”

T

Ten Minute flight: When your flight is technically ten minutes long, due to extreme airport/on flight alcohol consumption. (Disclaimer: This may only apply for European flights, international flight times may vary). E.g.- “Have we landed? Christ that flight was about ten minutes long!”

Twat Diet: A carnivorous diet supplemented only by chips, mash potato, bread, pasta or lard. No vegetables allowed. No puréed vegetables allowed. No nutrients allowed. Followed mostly by fuckwits and anaemics.

V

Vhy Not?: An answer to any query questioning the need for more alcohol/fun. Originates from a class old bird we overheard in Rhodes, when asked if she wanted another Pina Colada. E.g.- “Do we really need that eighth bottle of wine? …..Vhy Not!”

Advertisements